how i found you


How I Found You began with a question.

I’m an extrovert, and love meeting new people. I also love asking new people lots of personal questions (which has gotten me into some trouble in the Midwest.)

One of my favorite questions is: How did you meet your significant other?

I’ve yet to meet a person who doesn’t enjoy answering it; who doesn’t light up in the telling. What’s even more fascinating is to hear their significant other tell their version of the story. It becomes – between the two of them – a sort of mythology. As couples, we invent, and carry, and treasure, and constantly revise our own creation mythologies.

I’m not a great writer. I’m good enough, but I’ve often found other people’s stories more interesting than anything I could make up. After grad school, I found myself – by lucky accident – working in public radio. I discovered in radio – particularly projects like StoryCorps and This I Believe – the power and cultural necessity of personal narrative. These projects – along with others that inspired me, like Miranda July’s Learning to Love You More – share at their hearts a certain democratic objective which has always appealed to me. Before my MFA, I studied Art History – consequently, I’ve got a little bit of The Curator in me, too. I love to collect, to showcase.

In August of 2008, I took a self-expression and leadership course (you may have heard of it.) The course was built around a community project that each student had to create and develop and see through to completion. (The point, of course, not being the completion so much as what you learn along the way.) And – oh, yes – the project had to spring from a possibility we’d chosen for our lives. Mine: a world where everyone was self-expressed.

My project was immediately evident to me. It had been cooking in my head for some time – the culmination of many influences and experiences. I knew, too, that for full self-expression to be possible, it would need to encompass all kinds of stories – not just the “couple mythologies” – but stories of family and friends, and even some abstract concepts that haven’t shown up yet, but undoubtedly will.

How I Found You wants to know how you found someone, or something, significant in your life. How you found them for the first time, how you found them again. How they changed you forever.

I hope you enjoy these stories. And I hope that, if you’re not feeling so loved today, this site might remind you of someone you found, who found you.

Lastly, I welcome you to share your story, too.

Thanks for visiting.


P.S. The beautiful How I Found You logo was designed by my husband, Philip Fuller.  This is how I found him.

This site is dedicated to my friends and mentors, especially: Kevin C. McIlvoy, whose quote appears on the home page.

It also in loving memory of two great poets and teachers: Carol S. Mengden (1945-1995) and Craig Arnold (1967-2009.)


7 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Jacquie, YOU ARE BRILLIANT!!! I am so proud of you. You have always amazed me. You have developed a great concept, a great presentation, and a great job–way to go!

Comment by Angela Heise

This is wonderful! Congratulations on an awesome idea.

Comment by heatherherrman

This is an amazing project! What a great way to share our stories of love, heartbreak and renewed faith! You have blossomed into an amazing woman, little sister! Love you!

Comment by Monica A. Bugaj

What can I say except that you continue to amaze me. This is a wonderful project and what a way for the young and the otherwise not so young to share their wonderful memories. My heart is filled with pride for you.

Comment by Gloria Lozano (Mom)

Rad, just rad, mz JMF. Something I’d like to find these days: my mind!

Comment by Arlene

I am not going to be original this time, so all I am going to say that your blog rocks, sad that I don’t have suck a writing skills

Comment by queenday

So glad I found . . . this blog! Excellent.

Comment by Teke

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